Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Pain In The Back


This is my health report.
This is what it says:

Colour Vision : Normal
General Pubertal Stage : 5
Break of Voice-Age : 12
Forward Bending Test : Positive
Left Lumbar Hump : 2 degrees
OMG, I got a 2 degree left lumbar hump. According to an unnamed source, that means no more football for me. Die lor.....

What is a left lumbar hump anyway?

Monday, May 12, 2008

Defining Moments

Review of United's BPL season


Beating Chelsea after Mourinho's sacking

Beating a dominant Liverpool at Anfield

Beating Tottenham courtesy of Nani's wonder strike

Hargreaves' freekick which broke Gunners hearts

A dominant 3-0 over Liverpool at home


Crucial equalizer at Blackburn

Champions.....

A Perfect Tenth, Champ10ns

Ronaldo equalled Alan Shearer's goals haul of 31 goals in the league, Ryan Giggs equalled Bobby Charlton's record appearances of 758 games for the red shirt of Manchester, United now 1 title adrift of Liverpool's record of 18 titles. Last but not least, United's 10th league title since the BPL was founded in 1990.

The adrenaline rush hasn't gone away, sure can't sleep tonight. Can't believe I missed 1 of the tightest and most exciting title race ever. Chelsea drew Bolton with Davies scoring a 93rd minuted goal, Giggs scoring on his special day, Man City thrashed 8-1 by Boro, Birmingham and Reading scored 4 goals apiece in their respective games but were still relegated and finally, United retaining the Premiership crown on the final day. Whew....

I just love football...1 down, 1 to go. Next stop, MOSCOW

Sunday, May 11, 2008

D-Day

The final day of the BPL season. United or Chelsea? Damn obvious, isn't it? With a far superior goal difference, the title will surely be ours. Chelsea won't will the title even if they beat Bolton by 10 goals when United beat Wigan.

First the title, then Moscow. Nervous, but we smell blood.....

Oh yeah, broke my vow not to play football till after O' levels. Damn it...

God

This is the definition of God by an unnamed source

-------God-the thing that created everything but is nothing...

What he really meant

-------God is omnipresent

Saturday, April 26, 2008

Screw All Of You

Screw you Chelsea.

Screw you Mr. Wiley.

Screw you Sheva.

Screw you Ashley Cole.

Screw you Ballack.

Screw you linesman.

Screw you Dillon Yap.

2-1 only ma, goal difference still own. MAN UNITED WILL WIN THE LEAGUE AND CHAMPIONS LEAGUE!!!!

But for now...I'll be hiding in a corner to cry my eyes out

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Lost For Words

Avram Grant’s interview after the Chelsea-Everton match. ROFL!!!

A deserved win Avram?

Grant said: 'Yes.'


What particularly pleased you about the performance?
'I'm pleased.'


What in particular pleased you?
After an eight second delay: 'I don't know.'


Is it a relief to win here?
'Yes.'


You seem lost for words by the performance. Are you more satisfied with the performance or the victory?
'Both.'


You seem distracted. Do you have a problem?
'No problem.'


Is there an issue?

'No. I'm ok. I have nothing to say.'


Do you have a message for the Chelsea fans?
'You represent the Chelsea fans?'


They must believe you are still in the title race, do you have a message for them?

'No message.'


Does this result mean you are back in it now?

'I don't know.'


How many steps have you climbed to undertake this press conference?
'I don't know.'


You seem less voluble than usual. Is it because of Sky TV moving the game to a Thursday?

'Maybe it's because of you. I don't know. I am ok.'


You are saying that you don't know if you are still in the title race?
'No.'


Is it easier to say nothing Avram?
'I don't what to answer. It is a good question. I don't know what to answer.'


Is this because of Sky?

'No. Sky is ok. I enjoy watching them.'


Is it a protest against newspapers?

'No. Why?'


Why else would you come in and refuse to answer our questions?
'I answer every question.'


You are two points behind Manchester United and you don't know if you are still in the title race?

'No.'


Have you told the players that you don't know if you are back in the title race?

'What I tell the players is something else. You want me to tell you what I say to the players?'


We just want you to answer the question really. Are you in the title race?

'I don't know.'


Would you not like to gain some positive publicity for the result rather than this bizarre silence?

'I'm sorry. You can write whatever you want and I can answer what I want.'


Do you feel under pressure to deliver a trophy. Is that the reason for the monosyllabic answers?

'No.'


Are you upset? Do you feel you have been misrepresented?
'Maybe I have said because it is a bad season.'


Did Michael Essien faint?
'He had some problems, but he is ok.'


Michael Ballack?
'Injured.'


What's his problem?

'Ask the doctor.'


He's not here Avram.

'Well call him then.'


Have you ever played the yes/no game Avram?

.....